Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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