Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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