His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I am naked and annoyed.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
