so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Small penises have feelings too.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize