So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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