no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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