Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
even my farts smell like vagina
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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