i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I enjoy the company of your penis
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
