Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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