i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
