I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
