Who did Billy Mays play for?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
