Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No subtext here. People are naked.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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