What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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