And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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