Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
