No stitches, just platelets and will power
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
