Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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