Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
