If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
