sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
