All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
