Say something about gay babies.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
