the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
