so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
