I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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