Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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