Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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