I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
did i walk over a car last night?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
