we have pet lesbian snakes
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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