when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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