You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
