He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
