After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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