I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
