I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Farmville is her only friend.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
