How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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