I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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