the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
