Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
