Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
operation have a gay friend backfired
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Everclear isn't food dammit
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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