dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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