Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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