I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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