please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
