pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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