Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
