i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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