Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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