just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
