it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
