So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
